Editor’s note: Writer’s answers do not reflect those of the Mitchell News-Journal and are not meant to replace medical or mental health care.
Dear Denise:
I am a 74-year old woman. I recently lost my husband and moved here to live near my daughter. I miss having friends. My daughter has encouraged me to get out to senior events and to meet people. But why should I? At my age, people die. Why should I meet new people just to have them disappear from my life? I guess I am better off alone, even though it is sad.
Dear Reader:
You are right, people your age die. In fact, people of all ages die. Or, they leave us in other ways; by moving away, evolving out of the relationship with us and many other forms.
Yes, it hurts when they leave. But, we are blessed for the time we had with them. Every moment someone is in our lives, we are enriched by their presence. Whether it is a romantic relationship, a good friend, a co-worker or a neighbor, they impact us.
Even those we have a far more casual relationship with, like the person who cuts our hair, the teller at the bank, or the familiar cashier at the market, all affect us to a degree. We may not realize it at the time, because we are so absorbed with what is going on in our life in that moment. But they have created a memory deep inside our brains.
So we often feel the loss when they are no longer here for us. But should we deny ourselves the enrichment people bring to us because we are too busy anticipating their departure from our lives?
I saw a meme once that touched me. This illustration showed a picture of Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore sitting looking at a sunset. Eeyore says to Winnie, “you know, someday we are all going to die.” Winnie replied, “yes, but the rest of the days we live.” As human beings we tend to worry so much about tomorrow we have no room to cherish today. So, dear lady, embrace those relationships and surround yourself with positive people. Alfred Tennyson, in a poem titled, “In Memoriam A.H.H.) written in 1829, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Go out and form and nurture those relationships, and enjoy every day.
As an obscure poet who only identifies as “S.B.” wrote, “I have come to realize that even being alive, being able to breathe, is something grand and something to be celebrated daily.” Hope you find happiness in every day of your life my friend.
Dear Readers:
I want to thank Brandon Roberts for his selfless contribution to our community during his time as editor of the Mitchell News-Journal. He always gave much more than what was required for his job, and made it obvious he was committed to the people here.
On a personal level, I want to thank him for allowing this column to become possible. We all wish you best wishes for a bright future, Brandon, and rest assured, you will not be forgotten. Safe travels.
Denise Harrison is a Licensed Counselor in Spruce Pine. Send questions to questionsandlettersmn@gmail.com or call and leave a message at 828-467-0037. Submissions are anonymous.