Noreen Nickolas
MNJ Contributor
Asil Kabariti’s home sits on a hilltop at the end of a winding driveway surrounded by trees, flowers, butterflies, mountain views and deer. And this is where she has been able to heal.
Kabariti, 23, who is Palestinian, moved to Bakersville in December 2022, to escape 22 years of conflict in Gaza.
“My whole life was shaped by wars and aggression,” Kabariti said. “I remember it was brutal — it was very, very brutal.”
Kabariti lived in al-Rimal, which used to be an upscale neighborhood in Gaza.
“This neighborhood is one of the fanciest neighborhoods in Gaza — or was one of the fanciest. In all the previous wars and aggressions against the strip they have not bombed it much at all to the point that all people from other areas would come to our neighborhood to take shelter,” she said.
As a child Kabariti recalls learning early on how to recognize the difference in the sounds that an airplane makes when it is going to drop a bomb.
“When the wars would start, we would all sleep in one room the one room that is closest to the door, because you want to evacuate as fast as possible if anything happens. Me and my siblings would stay up all night long because you cannot sleep at night. If you sleep at night you might be dead in the morning,” she said.
Kabariti’s family would often have to evacuate to friends’ or relatives’ homes.
“Even though our neighborhood was not bombed as much, the surrounding area would get bombed and it would still be very, very loud. Like, louder than thunder. The whole house would just shake,” she said.
Seeking a better future, in 2018 Kabariti, who speaks three languages, began her arduous journey to freedom. Her brother-in-law secured a scholarship for her at a university in Mauritania, Africa, but two days before she was to leave, her mother, who did not feel she would be safe there, refused to sign the paperwork.
Kabariti was devastated because she believed that this was the only way she was going to be able to leave the country. But by 2021 an opportunity to move to the U.S. opened up when she earned a scholarship in French Literature and Translation at East Tennessee State University (ETSU).
To apply for her visa, Kabariti had to travel to Jerusalem — not an easy or safe task for Palestinians. After waiting several weeks for their permits, she and two of her friends decided to go together.
At the checkpoint into Israel, her male friend misunderstood what the Israeli soldier was saying. Kabariti and her friend began laughing, which angered the soldier. After holding them at the checkpoint for almost 30 minutes three armed men with machine guns approached and took their male friend for a security check. They decided not to allow him into Jerusalem. Several tense minutes later Kabariti and her friend were finally allowed to enter the city.
In August 2022, Kabariti began her semester at ETSU. She finished her studies in December and grappled with whether or not to return home. With support and encouragement from her boyfriend and his family, she decided to apply for asylum.
“I just didn’t want to go back to Gaza because I knew I was going to die if I did,” Kabariti said.
Since it can take years for a request for asylum to be granted, Kabariti is an “asylee seeker,” which allows her to legally stay in the United States.
While immigrating to the US has provided a safe haven for her, it has also meant leaving many of her family behind. Kabariti, whose father died when she was five, fears for her family’s safety, since conflict again broke out in 2023.
“Whenever I see pictures of injured people or a house bombed I would look at the pictures to make sure it wasn’t my family, just because it is so random — they don’t have a target, they kill everybody,” she said.
Compared to previous conflicts that were over in a few weeks or months, the last eight months of this crisis have made life for her family unbearable.
Because of the increased bombing, Kabariti’s brother, Mohammed, his wife, Asmaa, and her sister, Nour, who were living in the north, were forced to evacuate. They have eight children between them including one who is disabled.
“What they have been experiencing is way worse because it’s genocide and nobody cares. There is no electricity, no water, no housing; they had to evacuate walking north to the south which is a lot of walking especially if you have a disabled child,” Kabariti explained. “They lived in a school for a while and that was just bad. It’s not clean at all, my sister got really, really sick when she was there.”
Living with the fear and uncertainty of her family’s well-being has taken its toll.
“The first few months I would get nightmares, really bad nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night just screaming. I really had bad anxiety,” she said. “Every time my nephews get sick I cannot turn my brain off; I keep thinking about it and thinking of solutions. … I’m thinking all the time that there is a good chance that they are going to be dead the next day.”
Despite the difficulties her family faces every day, Kabariti says she has found ways to cope with the fear and anxiety. She practices yoga and is learning to meditate. She does a lot of physical work helping her boyfriend around their home, she bikes, and she takes pictures.
“It takes a lot of stress off my shoulders,” she said.
She also cooks a lot.
“Cooking the recipes I know from my homeland makes me feel safe.”
Kabariti has set up a fund-raising campaign with GoFundMe, to help her family pay for possible evacuations, food and other necessities.
“For me, instead of getting stressed about them being there, I do anything I can to help. This is how I deal with stuff. Instead of looking at a problem and crying about it I just try to find solutions and this has been working for me so far very well, and it is working for them too,” she said.
She also spends much of her free time on social media sites like Instagram.
“I spend a lot of time recording videos, talking to people about what’s happening with them and that has been helping them,” she said. “You have got to be consistent otherwise people are not going to give it much attention.”
Lori Jacobsen, the owner of Mindful Movement with Lori in Micaville, organized a local fundraiser recently to help Kabariti’s family, with many in the community coming out to support her effort.
“I didn’t have any pushback, I only got support, and it was overwhelming to the point that I was completely blown away,” Jacobsen said. “I think we created a space for people who wanted to support in any way that they felt comfortable. It was a safe space.”
Jacobsen said the fundraising event brought people together.
“There are so many people in need, and you can’t help everybody,” she said. “I can help in this way because it creates this connection, people can meet her. She made the most amazing meal for everybody. I really think that that connection to her and then to her family via food is huge.”
Ellen Bleier, whose Jewish family fled Poland during the Russo-Polish War, has lived in Spruce Pine for six years and has known Kabariti for several months.
“I wanted to help, because I feel so devastated that people of my ancestry are doing ‘never again’ on another group of people that had nothing to do with the Holocaust,” Bleier said. “I’m a really compassionate and empathic person I just wanted to reach out to her and do whatever I could to support her in my small way.”
All of these fundraising efforts help Kabariti to cope.
“Right now I am perfectly fine just because I know that I am helping enough and I’m making a difference,” Kabariti said.
She emphasizes that living in Bakersville is a big factor in helping her heal as well.
“It’s beautiful here, and I just needed to stay in nature,” she said. “To be able to communicate with myself and the environment.”
Since the 2023 conflict began, however, Kabariti feels she has had to go on the offensive.
“We are having to convince the world that our lives are worth saving and that we are not antisemitic and we’re not evil,” she said. “It’s awful that the world is putting us in that position.”
For those who wish to help Kabariti’s family, the fundraiser at www.gofundme.com is labeled “A call for solidarity: Help Al-kabariti family”
Being a refugee has been isolating for Kabariti. At times, she says, “I felt all alone. I cannot lie, I thought about leaving.”
But the response from the Mitchell-Yancey community is giving Kabariti hope for the future.
“I’ve been getting a lot of support, a lot of beautiful people, a lot of kind words, and this is just uplifting me,” Kabariti said. “This is making me feel like I belong, that I’m home, that I’m safe and it’s just beautiful to see.”