ASK DENISE: Woman torn between 2 men

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Denise Harrison
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Editor’s note: Writer’s answers do not reflect those of the Mitchell News-Journal and are not meant to replace medical or mental health care.

 

Dear Denise: I think I am in trouble. I have two men I am involved with and think I love them both. One is so very kind to me, and I enjoy his company a lot. But there isn’t much of a spark between us. The other is sort of a bad boy, but we have a lot of passion between us. Neither of them knows about the other. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I am not sure what to do. What is your advice? 

Dear Reader: I recall seeing an old joke someplace once. It went something like, “I have a man that cooks for me, spends money on me, is a good lover, makes me laugh and fixes things around the house. Sure hope they never meet one another.” I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you cannot keep up this charade forever. You don’t want to hurt anyone, but someone will get hurt eventually. 

I feel the time has come for you to be honest about what you want and stop being less than truthful with these men. I know this will be difficult, but it is the right thing to do for everyone involved. No healthy relationship was even formed from deceit.

Best wishes to you.

 

Dear Denise: All this craziness going on in the world is getting to me. I am trying to follow guidelines and stay home to be safe, but I feel like a caged animal. What can I do to be safe but not make myself insane?

Dear Reader: I understand what you are saying. While we do need to practice social distancing and safe practices now, there is nothing written that says we need to give up everything we enjoy. Go for walks. Talk on the phone to keep up those essential social connections. Skype or Facetime others so you can see your loved ones. Start an at-home project. Catch up on your reading. Try some new recipes. Do not obsess over the news. While we do need to be informed, once a day is plenty.  Being besieged with news reports only adds to depression and anxiety. Ask for help if you need it. Do as much as you can to pamper yourself while staying safe.  

Just remember, this will pass and life will return to normal. Hang in there.

 

Dear Readers: Just a shout out to my readers that I am offering counseling via Skype, Facetime and Google Duo. This is so you can get the support you need from the safety of your home. Call me to set up a time we can have a virtual appointment. We all need a little help getting through these troubling times, and I am here for you.

 

Denise Harrison is a Licensed Counselor. Send questions to questionsandlettersmn@gmail.com or call and leave a message at 828-467-0037. Submissions are anonymous.