ASK DENISE: Can woman trust cheater?
Editor’s note: Writer’s answers do not reflect those of the Mitchell News-Journal and are not meant to replace medical or mental health care.
Dear Denise: Is it possible to trust a man who is cheating on his wife to be with me? He says he is going to leave her, and I think it is going to happen. But how do I know he will be faithful?
Dear Reader: My heart aches for you and your dilemma. This is one of the oldest situations in the world. Will he leave his wife for you? Maybe. Will you ever be able to trust him? Probably not.
Most people who will cheat on a mate to be with someone else, are just as likely to cheat on that person with someone else. Even if the man or woman never has the intention or interest in straying, the new mate will always have those nagging suspicions and insecurities that will eat away at his or her peace of mind.
My advice to you is to count your losses and move on. I can’t see any happiness for your future with this person. Sorry.
Dear Denise: I have recently gotten engaged and have started to plan my wedding. We are having a nice, large affair and we are planning on approximately six bridesmaids and a maid of honor, and the same number of groomsmen and a best man.
I have already planned in my head who I want to be as my attendants. My mother-in-law to be, however, seems to feel I should ask my fiancé’s sister, my future sister-in-law, to be the maid of honor. I like her, and hope to be able to develop a lifelong sister-like bond with her, but I don’t know her that well. I am very close to a friend who has been like a sister my whole life to be my maid of honor and plan on asking her.
I am willing to include my new sister-in-law as a bridesmaid; in fact, I had already planned to do so. Is this acceptable? How can I handle this without hurting any of my new relatives?
Dear Reader: Congratulations. This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life; don’t let others steal your thunder. Of course, you would want your sister friend to be your maid of honor, and that sounds like a perfect choice. Maid of honor is a position reserved for someone who knows you best since they serve as basically your “right-hand woman.” I feel your new mother-in-law is looking out for her daughter, but in reality, I have a suspicion when you ask your sister-in-law to be one of your bridesmaids, she will be honored. I wouldn’t worry about this, choose who you want, and enjoy planning this special day.
Lots of love.
Denise Harrison is a Licensed Counselor in Spruce Pine. Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or call and leave a message at 828-467-0037. Submissions are anonymous.